Saturday, 31 December 2016

Happy New Year!

I hope this is a really fabulous year for you
Christmas was amazing as always, I hope yours was good too.
I got a load of books which means I'll have a very readicillious year!

I hope this year is incredible for you
You deserve it to be
Always remember you get to decide how you feel
And if you don't like how you feel change it
Even a little change can have a massive effect

Steph

XxX

Wednesday, 21 December 2016

Emotions

This is a standalone I've wanted to publish on here for quite a while but was lost in my piles of papers! Anyway I wrote this when I was 16 and it has never really left me. I hope you enjoy it.

Sarah and Danny had been friends for a long time. They were really close. One night they ended up watching a romantic film with Kieren and his girlfriend. At the end of the film Kieren and his girlfriend start making out and leave Danny and Sarah sitting there uncomfortably. They glance at each other -  but neither of them can tell what's on each other's minds. Danny's palms begin to sweat - he can't bear this silence. 'So yeah, we're going to head off!' he exclaimed as he got up and walked to the door. Sarah got up too and departed throug..h the same door. Danny was waiting outside in the hall for her. 'You'd better take this!' he says slipping off his jacket. It is thrashing with rain outside.
'Are you sure you'll be OK?' Saran asks. Danny laughs.
'Hey am I a man or a mouse?' he told her with a cheeky grin.
'OK as long as you're sure!' Sarah exclaims draping his jacket over her shoulders. She lifts up the hood on his jacket and prepares to open the door. Danny just looks at her. She looks so cute with that hood pulled up, wearing a jacket that's probably a few sizes too big for her. She giggles and he turns his attention to the rain.
'Right, here we go!' Danny laughs as he opens the door and dashes outside. He waits in the rain for Sarah to catch up with him. When she catches up, he says goodbye. 'Bye darling, see you tomorrow,' and scurries into his house. She watches him enter his house and then bursts into tears. He didn't know he wouldn't dee her tomorrow. She wonders if he's been into his bedroom yet and seen the note waiting on his bedside cabinet.
Tonight had broken her heart. Especially watching the film and not being able to curl her fingers over his. It's as if he'd known and he just wanted to break it some more. He had been such a sweetheart tonight. Why did he want to break her heart? The note on his bedside cabinet reveals the truth of her feelings towards him. That yes, she would die for him and that yes, he makes her life complete. But what makes her think he'd even care? Never in a million years. She doesn't know why she did it, she just had to get the words out somehow. So she wrote him a letter, hoping he would try to make her stop, all the while knowing he never would.
She's getting soaked standing in the rain, even though she was wearing Danny's jacket. She didn't even know if it was her teardrops or the rainfall making her face wet anymore. She stands there motionlessly waiting for something. She soon realises than it won't come and so goes up to Danny's door. She is tempted to knock on the door and get one last hug but she knows what she must do. She slowly removes the jacket, folds it and put it on Danny's doorstep. She walks back to her house totally exposed to the rain but she doesn't care. She unlocks her door and grabs the bags she packed earlier. She takes one last look at her house - in its bare state. She weeps a little as she makes her way to the train station.
Every torch that's shone around her she looks up hopefully. But it's not him. She doubts he's even read it yet. And she bets he won't care when he does. Yes, he's losing a close friend but that wouldn't mean much to him. He has other friends anyway.
She loved him all her life and isn't about to stop, but she thinks if she put some distance between herself and he, she might finally be able to move on. The train comes and as she boards she whispers 'My heart will always be with you.' When the train starts to move, she gives up any hope that he would come and tell her she was being silly. She looks out as the train departs the station and for a brief moment catches a glimpse of his face but it's only because he was on her mind surely?

Thank you for reading

Steph

XxX


Wednesday, 14 December 2016

Yet

I honestly feel like I'm a fledgling bird, waiting to be freed and I'm at the point where things are not happening fast enough if at all. I am a fledgling bird without a sky at the moment. It feels like I'm fledgling and I just want to be free but someone or something is always clipping my wings. I feel ready to go, like I'm on the runway but everywhere I turn says delay delay delay. I just want to get my life started! 

It just hasn't been my time YET. 

Yet is one of my magic words because it can stand for so much. 

I don't know what love feels like, because I haven't been in it yet. 

That makes me feel better. Just adding the word 'yet' to any emotion or place in the world that you want to get to. I'm not there yet but I have the potential to be. 

Steph

XxX

Wednesday, 7 December 2016

It's December!

Where has this year gone? Time is just passing way too fast!

I caught a cold this time last week so apologies for not uploading! I was feeling down on Monday, so to make myself feel more like me I took a look in my feel-better box!

It's just a box of memories. It's bigger than a shoebox but a shoebox can work just as well. I have messages from old friends in there that just spur me on. Sometimes I can't believe that I had the nerve to ask people what I did but looking back they were great times. I still can't believe the faith that most of my friends seemed to have in me!

I sent an email out when I was 16 asking people what they thought of: who I was, who I am now and who I will be.

I would never be as brave as to ask that now! I tend to just take every day as it comes and see every obstacle as an opportunity.

I got some amazing responses and I love and treasure them in my feel-good box! I hope you are inspired to make your own box and then when you're down you can take it out and feel better. You don't have to be as brazen as I was at 16! It can be anything you like, perhaps a colour perhaps a picture perhaps words.

Steph

XxX

Wednesday, 23 November 2016

I Lost Myself

When things are happening it's good to keep momentum up.

Having hobbies is a great start.

Things you enjoy doing for the sake of doing them.

Lyrics were a great one for me, and I felt I was being heard, even though those lyrics hardly ever left my room! They're great to look back at in moments of need.

I think I have lost the habit of doing this recently. I think I've become so consumed with what is going on in my life, or the lack of it, that I've forgotten who I was!

This isn't healthy. Right now, I am trying to regain the person I am.

Steph

XxX

Wednesday, 16 November 2016

Pendulum Poem.

Pendulum.
Always moving.
It's awe-inspiring.
Time keeps going.
Can't slow it down.
It can be harsh.
The feeling that you are missing out.
Learn a lot.
Time keeper.
Time keeps going.
No matter what is going on in your life.

I hope the poem here has made you think and believe that your life, no matter what stage you're at, is good. At least we are not pendulums. At least we get to rest etc. If you have any stories of when you have felt Pendulum-esque please do get in contact.

Steph

XxX

Wednesday, 9 November 2016

'A Little Bit In Love' Book Review

I have just finished 'A Little Bit In Love' by Susan Fletcher which is basically Eponine's story from Les Miserables. I'd wanted to find out what had Carrie Hope Fletcher so enthralled to play this particular character on stage. And now I do understand Eponine's story I can understand it. In essence, her story is the main one in Les Miserables. Les Miserables stands for The Miserable Ones.

The book is truly profound and it takes you through a spectrum of emotions. I cannot recommend it highly enough. I didn't know the story at all when I first saw the film, so it didn't affect me. But then watching it after reading 'A Little Bit In Love' I was an emotional wreck! I finished the book in four days. The chapters were nice and short and you really got a feel for Eponine's struggle through them. I just had to watch the film after reading it and I think anyone else would had they had the film to hand. The film made a whole lot more sense to me after having read it.

I feel for Eponine in the two personal wars she is fighting and the actual war she finds herself facing, one is the war to be kind in a merciless world and also the war of her heart, to give him up because you want his happiness more than your own. A beautifully written work. I'm so glad I picked it up! I now understand a story that I'd been reluctant to learn.

Steph

XxX

Wednesday, 2 November 2016

About how I feel and My List!

My life takes a lot of effort. People don’t realise that I wake up really early in order to get ready for the day ahead. I like waking up in the dark because the day is still unfolding but it does get boring.

Actually, I’ve been told that I’m not under-achieving in life.

Life is hard for everyone at the minute and I am no exception.

 It’s just so hard because I don’t really fall under a category. I can use my mind. There’s nothing wrong with that.

I’m a wheelchair user so have functional mobility problems but that’s it.

I love to read. In fact I am part of a book group which meets up every month to discuss whatever book we have chosen.

A good friend of mine reminded me of my optimistic nature when I reached my lowest ebb earlier this week. That really helped. It reminded me that I am a positive person and that this feeling of despondency is temporary and won’t last.

I need changes to occur to keep my optimism up. I’m a bit flummoxed by aall the changes that are going on around my life right now.

I feel this is a good point in which to share with you My List! It is a personal list of things which I am proud of totalling up at 14. This was a list I wrote before my 21st birthday so all these things were done before I was 21!

1.       Winning ‘secret’ history comp.

2.       Having ‘Written In The Stars’ published

3.       Singing ‘You In My Shoes’ at Open Mic Night

4.       Having a True Story published in Shout!

5.       Having poems published

6.       Having a short story published

7.       Graduating

8.       Having ‘Because’ recorded as a demo.

9.       Winning the lyric comp with Disney

10.   Writing the happiness blog

11.   Writing my own blog

12.   Winning poetry award

13.   Handing my lyrics to Danny Jones/CD to Tom Fletcher

14.   Getting ‘Wish I Could’ demo recorded.

Wednesday, 26 October 2016

Things Don't Happen By Chance!


‘See obstacles as opportunities.’ I try to do this. When something goes wrong, as often happens, you are led down a different road to the one you would’ve taken had it gone right.

Was this the road you were destined to go on?

I don’t know as I don’t know your situation.

But if you try to make the best of it you are putting positive energy into the world rather than negative.

Some things aren’t meant to go right.

Maybe lessons need to be learnt or something.

Whatever the reason, there is a purpose behind everything that happens to you in life, whether that’s to lead you down a different road, to a new place or anything, it is for the best.

Things don’t happen by chance there is always a reason.

 It may be deeper than you imagined.

Or it could be just a thinly veiled, on the surface reason.

You have to be willing to change, make it work for you whatever it is.

For instance, at my interview I had to sell myself. Now anyone that knows me, knows I'm very comfortable hiding in my shell and am not outspoken about my achievements, of which there have been many. Some that in fact, I had forgotten about until the interview came into light. I might in fact share a list of achievements I compiled in the 0 - 21 ages if you like? This was for me and really makes me feel better about myself!

I felt I said all that I could in my interview - had to remember a lot of stuff - and just wasn't needed in that particular role. But that's ok. Best way to grow - is to learn and move on.

Do not feel bad. Like something that you did warrented things to go wrong. Because things often mess up naturally. And it’s us who deal with what’s leftover.

Friday, 21 October 2016

Update

I was unsuccessful in getting the job as a library assistant.

I am not disappointed as this was my very first interview!!

The way I look at it is that they're the ones that are missing out. 

Steph

XxX

Wednesday, 19 October 2016

Simple changes can make the difference!

I know that with a simple change, more to the way I think about something can change the results.

The computer lost all files from the desktop earlier. This was where my blog was so it was vital I found it!

I kept searching through old files on this computer and finally I found this very file! Perseverance pays off!

I had almost given up. There happened to be a fiile inside a file that I hadn’t searched yet. Amongst everything I had already searched.

As I learnt from Tony Robbins ‘there are no failures, only outcomes.’

It’s about seeing that bigger things happen in the world than just to you. Not to say that your claim to feeling however you feel is less credible, but remembering this also helps you put things into perspective.

When you’re going through a situation, I know it’s difficult to see the bigger picture. But it’s good to remember that the reaction that we get from others is not entirely based on us.

Who knows what they’ve been through up until they’ve met you? And that’s a daily circumstance too. That happens daily.

You don’t know what another person may have seen, heard or done that has made them react in this particular way to you.

On a more describing note, I had my very first interview earlier today.

It went well I think. someone I knew was heading up the board so that made things easier, and I got to say most of what I had prepared.

Little and often is the best way to rehearse I've found.

Also I am now an auntie! 

I will let my readers know the outcome of the interview.

Steph

XxX

Wednesday, 5 October 2016

Your Light

Let's jump straight back in...

This is something I believe passionately.

I know life isn’t always positive and some horrific things do happen but if you can see the light instead of the dark, even for a moment, you will be emitting light and making your world a little brighter, therefore you will be a catalyst for good feeling.
The light that you emit might be miniscule but it all makes a difference.

Think of when you’re at a gig. Now one lone voice calling for a band/singer to come on stage won’t make enough noise for them to hear, probably, but when collected together those calls can be heard from the backstage of a gig.

Although your light alone won’t do much, you only need others to support you and your light will shine for miles around!

It can happen, you just need the right people around you. It can take years to find them. I’ve still not found all of my supporting cast!
Don’t forget: we’re learning every day.
Don’t be afraid of making mistakes because that is the best way to learn and grow.

Steph

XxX

Wednesday, 28 September 2016

Carrying on...

For my second date, my sister in law and I thought wed try a different pub with tables of a more reasonable height! The puub was almost empty when we arrived, so we had our pick of the tables to sit where I could feel comfortable. The staff were very helpful - and very excited - to have a first date situation going on - even more so when they knew it was through the same agency as used on the 'Undatables' programme - which I have never actually watched!

This second date was alright and was good for my confidence as I had to do a lot of the talking! The staff there were keeping an eye out and said we were talking and laughing the whole time! Which we were. I do always try to make the best of a situation. So far, I have had a second date with the first guy I met and am looking forward to others.

I am really happy to be having a go at this - it is not as scary as I thought it would be and it is really good to meet new people! Its just like meeting a new friend!

Hopefully there will be more dates to come and you just never know what might happen!

I will go back to doing my little blogs to cheer people up next week!

Steph

XxX



Thursday, 22 September 2016

Something new!

I've tried something new recently. Something very daring for the very first time for me - I have joined a dating agency!

Being in a wheelchair and living in a quiet village can make it very difficult to get out and meet people. I am busy all week but evenings and weekends can be very quiet, so I decided to take a chance. Everyone says that there is someone out there for everyone after all!

I really had no idea what yo expect, but I filled out a form and had a chat with a lovely lady who told me that she meets everyone in person and it would be very safe. She was also very pleased to take on a young lady as she has lots more young men on her books - which sounded good to me!

The first date was arranged at a quiet pub in a large town near where I live. Quite straightforward you would imagine, but when I got there with my brother, we found that nearly all the tables were very high - not very good for me in my chair! We found a lower table right at the back of the pub where, although it was dark, was perfect and I could look out for my date. I didn't feel nervous until my brother left me and I waited to meet a complete stranger!

I was so lucky as my first date was very friendly and very chatty and the time went very quickly. It was a really good start to my dating career!

Wednesday, 14 September 2016

The World Won't Stop!


If you stay in bed all day, the day still happens.’ That was written by Emily Barr in Blackout which is a Quick Read which suits me at the moment. But that’s a really good thing to remember. That the world doesn’t stop, just because you might be dealing with something and need time to cope. The world is relentless and unstoppable. I find it rather refreshing in that way. It doesn’t stop just because of a personal crisis that may have occurred to you. I find it refreshing to imagine other parts of the world continuing as normal, in spite of this big event that has occurred in your life.

The wind still blows, the sun still rises and sets so when I think ‘Oh no, it’s all a disaster,’ I just try to remember that life goes on. That’s why if you want something, it’s much better to go out and make it happen before it’s too late. Not that you will always know when it is too late. That’s why I’d rather act in the moment, and if it takes me down a different route to the one I was travelling before, maybe it was meant to be that way. Once you make a decision you can’t go back and that’s what I find quite exciting! It can be scary too, but I find it liberating. These decisions that you are making now are making your future. That can be a scary concept, if you let things and/or other people control you. Remember, you are the one in control here. You have the ability to walk (in my case, wheel) away from a situation if it’s not helping you. The power is in your corner. Life does still go on and exist, whether you are going through a hard time or not, and though it might be hard to realise that, it is for the best in most cases.
 
Steph
 
XxX

Wednesday, 7 September 2016

Your Experience

There’s a very fine line between confidence and arrogance.

Confidence is having the belief and somewhat knowing that you can do something whereas arrogance is knowing and not caring about others.

People can tread it in all walks of life, and I think it’s rife in the workplace.

Yes, people may have studied, trained for longer and have higher positions than yourself but that is no reason for them to look down their nose at you.

I’m sure people have been victim of this and feel free to share your stories below.

This would really help me as I am currently researching for my story. Thank you.

Your experience of the world is very different to anyone else's - it's different from your view point and it depends very much if you look on a situation as negative or positive.

I hope I help people to experience the latter, but I am aware of the hardships that life can bring to your door.

Steph

XxX

Wednesday, 31 August 2016

The World Doesn't Owe You Anything

Sorry about the no show post last week! I had a lot going on. But I'm back this week...

This world doesn’t owe you anything.

You have to work hard in order to reap the rewards.

You can find rewards in anything if you look hard enough.

Be it a simple, natural reward such as the sun rising, it is still strong.

The world has been here a lot longer than you have.

It doesn’t owe you something just because.

In this day and age there are blurred lines between thinking you are owed something and working towards it.

If you put the work in to back up yourself you are more likely to succeed.

If you leave it all to chance, chances are you’ll lose out in the end.

I was inspired to write this by a piece I read in a book where it said that the particular character believed he was owed something by the world.

Now that may have been a tiny almost insignificant bit in the book but it is not a good attitude to have.

Even if you've been through hell, or are going through hell, the world doesn't owe you a lighter life.

You've just got to learn to appreciate those moments when they come.

Steph

XxX

Wednesday, 17 August 2016

A Key Principle To Remember

You can’t climb a mountain in a day. That might be taking what we do naturally as human beings to extremities but even so; the principle still stands. So don’t get pre-occupied if something doesn’t work out according to plan or there’s something you feel you have to do when your mind should be elsewhere.

This is an important principle to remember. Because while it may be in our dreams to scale a mountain or not even crossed our radar as a possibility or want in life, it’s telling you that some things in life take time to accomplish. You get closer every day to what you want to achieve in life. Don’t worry, even baby steps is still moving. Just as long as you’re going forward.

Also remembering something like this, can help you put your life into perspective. Something you see as huge may be a pinprick in the ocean in the scheme of things. It is important if it matters to you right at this moment, but honestly will it matter in a week, month, year?

Steph

XxX

Wednesday, 10 August 2016

Start In Small Steps

Start a new trend. Smile at strangers. For absolutely no reason other than you want to share your happiness. Because something has gone right today. You've woken up. It can be that small a victory but celebrate it. Make sure you do.

If you see a stranger wearing something nice or they smile at you, make sure you return the smile or compliment them in some way. It’ll be your good deed for the day and you never do know what goes into making a memory for them. And you’ll make their day a little brighter too. It’s win-win-win!

I talk about ‘big’ things because most of the time it’s the ‘small’ things that you do that make the biggest difference. And I love helping people to see that. It doesn’t take much. By making someone else happy you make yourself happy. Your job today is to make someone else smile.

Try not to find anything wrong today. It is the way it is for some reason, even one that may appear so unclear right now. When you find yourself complaining (we all do it) just remind yourself of reasons to smile. Is it a sunny day? Is there a bird singing? Remind yourself that there are many reasons to be happy and positive in this life. And the reasons that I have outlined are just two of the amazing things that might happen in nature. I’m sure there are many others which can be shared below. Thank you for reading.

Steph

XxX

Wednesday, 3 August 2016

Getting Lost In A Moment

I know how in situations you can get lost or carried away like it’s the only thing that matters.

And it is the only thing that matters in that moment of time.

It is useful in these moments to remember to have a sense of perspective.

If this went wrong, would it be so bad?

Would you know any different if it went right?

No you wouldn’t, because that wouldn’t be the reality you’re faced with.

And you wouldn’t be facing whatever challenges you are, which are helping you to grow or perhaps go down a route you never thought of.

Life is a learning process.

We are learning every day, even when we don’t think so.

We learn on the job.

There are no rehearsals for life, we have to make it up on the spot.

You can plan things but everyone is living day to day without a script.

Remember that what you say can never be taken back, so be careful with your words. Y

ou can think it, imagine it but think before it leaves your mouth. Is this something that’ll hurt somebody?

You can apologise a million times for something you have said out of turn but because we never know when others are making memories or how they will remember you, always try to think before you speak.

Steph

XxX

Wednesday, 27 July 2016

Out Of Context

It’s easy to take things out of context. Have them mean more than in the moment they were spoken, felt or acted upon. Especially when you’re feeling low. I used to be a master of this. Taking someone’s words and twisting them, particularly when I thought someone or something was unjust. This is very much a the-world’s-out-to-get-me theory. Learning to relax and just take the moment for what it is has helped me. Let people off. If they haven’t been involved in this situation: don’t blame them for something they have said pre-situation.

If anyone does say anything to put you down, you don’t know everything that’s happened during their day. This life is also give and take. You’re allowed to have a bad day, so why not show the same courtesy to others? But when people take you down, it’s not necessarily because of you. You know your mission, your goals, your feelings and that’s the most important thing. The other person may put you down in order to make themselves feel better. There are many reasons people may put you down and most of the time it has nothing to do with you. They may have had a bad day and you’ve just caught them at the wrong moment. I used to take constructive criticism as if it was a failure on my part. But criticism and constructive criticism are very different things. Constructive criticism is good because at least it is something that you can work on. Every criticism is therefore constructive given that you can work on it. And I used to be really petty, and stop doing whatever I got criticised for just because I'd been criticised. This is no way to live. I am now trying to accept these constructive criticisms and act on them in the best way I can.
 
Steph
 
XxX

Wednesday, 20 July 2016

The World Isn't Against YOU!

Retracing my steps talking about how your reactions say more about you than you’d know: Reacting to people in a hostile way is to let negativity overrule you. And I know this may be hard but what I do in situations such as these is look at it in perspective. Or try to. Will this matter tomorrow? 3 months from now? In a year? The answer is most likely no, but the reaction I give to it I have to live with. How would it feel if I never saw that person again? It is a lot to remember in that split second before you react to something, but I’m hoping that now I’ve written it down and explained the benefits both here and below I will remember. I will keep you updated on my progress.

If you let yourself believe that most people’s intentions are good, you won’t be in a bad place. Because on the whole, people are good people. If you need to take a few seconds or even shut your eyes this is allowed! There are no rules on the best way to react to something. You never know what you will be remembered for, so try to make it something positive. Like I was remembered by someone for being very forward in my university days. I can’t remember being quite that way, but that was what I was remembered for. If you go around thinking and behaving like ‘the world is against me’ you will find the more you think that, the more it will be. If you go around thinking you can’t feel anything then you won’t. You have to let your mind be open to experiencing new things and feeling things you’ve never felt before. If you close your mind to mostly anything in this life you miss out. There are of course things that try to get in your mind that you’d be better to distance yourself from, but you’re intelligent people; I won’t belittle you.
 
Steph
 
XxX

Wednesday, 13 July 2016

You're incredible!

This is something I have to remind myself of every once in a while.

You see, hear and do things every day. After a while that magic of seeing, hearing or doing something wears off. But it is spectacular still. Just because you don't see it anymore doesn't mean no one else can or will.

Taking a step back and looking at things in perspective is something we forget and with our busy schedules we don't really have time for  it it's really important and will be worth it. If its only two minutes you can spare it is worth it.

We get caught up in little things that don't really matter but as humans we love the drama.

Just remember that what you are doing is incredible and if a stranger to your life and your circumstances would be amazed.

Steph

XxX

Wednesday, 6 July 2016

Now doesn't last forever

Lately I’ve been thinking about now. How now is just a moment in time. For instance, if it’s hurting now it won’t hurt forever. And even if it does, I’m sure the frequency won’t last. Life has a way of shifting things, and things are ever changing. So please don’t panic about things. Remember that now is a moment in time and tomorrow it could all change. Maybe it won’t yet. But you never know when it will.

What we like now, is not necessarily what we’ll like in the future. Something may come up like a flash in a pan. We can’t tell what this will be. So it’s important that we appreciate what we have in the now. And even if you don’t think you have a lot: you’re breathing and you have an internet connection to read this via. Start appreciating the small things, you might find that bigger things come along in a bigger way to mean more. There are things that happen in life, that appear sometimes out of nowhere or are inevitable. And the really important thing to remember is that it’s only affecting you now, and if it does only affect you, then try not to react in a way that affects your life predominantly. Life is what you make it and when it goes wrong try not to react in a way that makes you remember it. Like once I broke a CD cover, because I was mad at someone. Now whenever I see that CD cover I remember the fight and how angry I was with that person. It’s not good for you to hold onto these types of memories, and it wasn’t good for me. I have since got rid of that CD case, but I’ll never get to relive that moment and do things better. We really have to think about how we treat people now, because that may be what they will always remember us for.
 
Steph
 
XxX

Wednesday, 29 June 2016

Don't Stop!


Don’t ever stop doing what you’re doing, because someday you’ll realise that whatever it is that has since stopped, changed you for the better.

We all have that turmoil when something changes, and in the end it’ll work out for the best. You just have to keep going, and there may be blocks in the road that force you to take a new route and that’s not a bad thing. It may and probably will feel scary but if you never try you’ll never know.

You’ve just got to believe in life and trust that it will work out for the better. Whatever will be will be, and whatever happens the choice is in your hands.

You control how you react to ANY situation, whether the fact that you take a deep breath for a few seconds before reacting, as I am trying to do, or initially react in a negative manner is up to you. If you have a negative mindset, this initial reaction is likely to be the case. It is up to you to change that, if you want, because no one else can do that for you. Don’t we all want to live more happy, fulfilled lives?

If you can take the time to think before you react, it’s going to be better for everybody involved.

‘People are doing their best from their level of consciousness.’ This was said by Deepak Chopra and I hold tight to this quote whenever anyone says anything I’m not happy with. If they are trying to offend me, I just rise above it because I am bigger than that and obviously I have gotten so high that they are trying to claw me down. Though what they say may hurt and have me feeling low for a few days, I will rise again. Like a phoenix from the ashes, to use that old metaphor!
 
Steph
 
XxX

Wednesday, 22 June 2016

Progress Yourself

I haven't seen one of my friends 3 - 4 months and we were just chatting generally, I mentioned all the stuff I was up to nowadays and I had to take a step back (or wheel back!)

I am proud of where I am now because I even took the reigns at work earlier on today, running the hub in Camberley library.

No one else except the people I work with is going to get how major that was for me. And sometimes not even my colleagues will get how important something is to me. That gave me an idea.

So I implore you, if you're someone who thinks life never changes, to keep a bullet point list of what you are up to, monthly.

You will notice changes. Even if it's just a little thing, jot it down because its quite often that the thing we see as small now turn out to be the bigger things.

An example: I was nervous (and still am) about calling strangers on the phone but I was the only one in the office when the phone rang, so I had to answer it. I'm still not confident about speaking on the phone but I have to remember that it might be their job to listen to me, that may well be what they are payed for.

By doing this monthly or once or twice a year you can see how far you've progressed.

Steph

XxX

Wednesday, 15 June 2016

Try Before You Say Goodbye

This isn't always possible, but in cases where it is it's better to find out than never know.

Don't give up at the first hurdle.

You might have many throughout your life and the trick is not to avoid, but work around them.

Don't give up just because you're not good at something.

One of my magic words comes into play here: yet.

Just because you're not there yet, doesn't mean you never will be.

Example: I've been having singing lessons and at first I was rubbish and couldn't even hold an arpedigo (a really long note). But I kept on with it for two months solid and I am now able to do them much more strongly. This, however does not give me a feasible reason to stop practising. I still practise as much as I can.

It takes practise and persistence. Persistence is carrying on in spite of what others may think or indeed say.

This might be an idea you've had or anything but the key with persistence is that you don't let anyone or anything put you off.

It is very hard to do but all you have to remember is that it's only their opinion.

*Hope this has helped. Let me know in the comments!*

Steph

XxX

Wednesday, 8 June 2016

Let Things Go

I have seen how miserable holding onto grudges can be. And it is such a waste. Remember, every sixty seconds you spend angry or upset is a minute of happiness that you will never get back. I'm not saying that you don't have the right to feel angry or upset or however you feel I'm just saying that it's time you can't get back so why spend it looking at life from a negative viewpoint?

You have to decide when something has run its course in your life. This can be challenging but you will know deep down when it is time for change.

I am frightened of time and the time I don't spend happy. I have reminders on my mirrors in my bathroom, the ones I look at for the longest, that are life-affirming quotes. It's the hope that whenever I have a bad day (because we all have them) I like to remember and realise that happiness is always within my reach.

It might not be much but if I can smile and direct my thoughts in a more positive direction I will.

Many times it's hard to decide what to give more than a passing thought to, all I know is it's not worth the pain\anger or any negative attribute if it's going to make you feel bad or worse.

Life is too short to wrap yourself up in bitterness belfry for things that may go wrong or unhappiness. Accepting your grievances with a smile is the strongest, bravest thing in my book.

Steph

Xx

Wednesday, 1 June 2016

Stop Taking Things For Granted

Yes OK, you may not be having the time of your life here, but you made it here. Now you get to choose how you act. Remember, it's always under your control. Who else is in control of you? Even if you've been led to this point by someone else, you always have the power to say no and stop whatever you feel you have to do.

Time is so precious and you never know how much you have left. You're still breathing, you're still here. Take pride in that. These may seem like small things but they're not. And you're dealing with everything you have to deal with. That is a tremendous achievement. Congratulations.  It may not seem like much but getting through every day is an achievement.

It's beneficial to realise that often it's the little things that make the biggest changes in our lives. Even 'little' things going right area blessing. A ray of light on a grim day or the like. No matter how small they seem they ate not. Be thankful for 'little' justices because someday you'll look back to see that those 'small' things are the major things.

I thought I'd include a list of some of the things I know that I take for granted:

Having a pen within reach
Having a post-it or notebook to jot things down on or in
The sunny days
My parents
The weight of my wheelchair ie. bags and accessories
Running water
Cups of tea
Food to eat

That's just a list I just thought of though I'm sure there are many more...

Steph

XxX

Wednesday, 25 May 2016

Who I am

I'm one of those people that doesn't look at what could be or too far ahead of myself.

When whatever comes is here I will deal with it the best way I see fit.

Of course, I hope everything will work out positively and as you know, am expectant of this to be the case because the expectancy more or less causes results.

Steph

XxX

Wednesday, 18 May 2016

Still Learning

I went to see 70s show Mamma Mia 
It was really good
I wasn't really in the mood for it at the start but then they started doing songs from Grease! which was awesome! By the second act I was into it but still teetering on the edge of not really being 'there'. 


The people in front of me didn't help. 
This wasn't their fault at all but I realise how easy it is to slip into negativity.
I could see them chatting and probably passing snide comments - those were the negative thoughts I was believing none of which were probably true.

The actors on stage performed as ABBA next and I knew most of the songs. Thrown by the people in front of me, I didn't join in with many.

I soon got a grip on myself though, everyone was there to enjoy themselves and if that meant singing very loudly and badly so be it!

That is always a hard lesson to learn when people put you off, that you do have a right to happiness, a right to enjoy yourself and just because others aren't feeling it doesn'tmean you have to stay on the outside too. 

Steph

XxX

Wednesday, 11 May 2016

What Do I Need?

Last Monday I had a big sort out. And I got to thinking

'I don't really need mementos to remember things by.'

I know they happened and that's good enough for me.

I met Carrie Hope Fletcher but didn't get a picture (something I have to remedy someday) but actualy I don't need one.

Sure it'd be nice to have but I'd much rather the time we spent chatting rather than posing.

I don't require things to make me remember all of the fantastic things in my life. Yes they are great reminders but not necessary.

These things have helped shape who I am.

All memories are stepping stones in the right direction...

If you have ever met a celeb without a camera or are just inspired by this post please let me know in the comment section below

Steph

XxX

Wednesday, 4 May 2016

I'm sorry it's been so long since my last post. No excuse really but I've been crazy busy!

I was feeling misplaced last Thursday.

Everyone else seems to have going right for them.

But then I remembered that I only get to see the surface.

What people allow me to see of them.

I don't know their role in life.

And, of course no one has life figured out, everyone's living from day to day because that's all you can do.

Who knows what the future will bring?

Steph

XxX


Sunday, 20 March 2016

How To: Take The Plunge

I was asked to w4ite a How-To on this by a vehicle good friend who I hope finds this beneficial (even if it is a year or two late!)

I was in sixth form when I fell for this boy. T, as he was known to my friends and I, that way we could talk about him even if he was sitting right next to me (as he was at one stage [heart in mouth moment!])

Another person who knew about the situation saw something that I had intended to write in his leavers book (I never got the chance in the end). It was some drivel about how he could never be wanting the same thing as me and this person stopped me in my tracks and said 'How do you know?'

That's the key question I ask myself when faced with a situation such as this. I do not know what is going on in another person's mind!

If you don't say anything the other person might be feeling the way you are, so as I always say, if you don't ask you don't get.

Don't be afraid to voice your feelings because hopefully the other person will be big enough to either say if they feel it too, or if they don't give you some space to move on.

People will always be around. So don't picture a silent room when you do your big reveal.

Sometimes it's hard t know the answer here, as you wouldn't know unless you tried, but try making a Pros and Cons list and if the Cons list reads: It's too hard and that is all, it really is worth a shot. You've got to have faith in yourself!

Again, if you don't ask you don't get and how do you know?

Monday, 14 March 2016

General thoughts

We all need help sometimes and so that is why I set up a YouTube account. I don't mind how many people actually
watch my channel - just knowing its there is enough. And knowing that hopefully it can help the people it can is rewarding enough for me. Bu5 if it does help I would love to get comments to let me know.

Tuesday, 16 February 2016

'Unlearn Disability'

Have you seen the new Ford car adverts? I found their new campaign about unlearning stuff fascinating - ’let go of what you know' is the tagline and I thought it'd be an interesting topic to blog about.

I want people to 'unlearn disabilities'.

We are not all the same, yet we often get tarnished with the same brush. We -like everyone else - are individual - unique.

Am I disabled? Yes
Can I do anything about that? No but I can make the very best of what I am - like anybody else.
Do I have a speech impediment? Yes
Do I have fine motor skills problems? Yes
Can I walk? No
Do I let any of this stop me? No

I do what I can for myself and am not afraid to ask for help with things I can't do.

The disability I have doesn't define who I am - it is a factor in my life that I have to deal with, but that's very different from letting it control me.

Like anyone else, certain things make me anxious. For me, because of my speech, I was afraid to answer the phone at work in case someone didn't understand me. And the usual anxiety that I wouldn't know them added to that meant I wouldn't answer the phone at work!

But when I did take my first call and it was absolutely fine - I felt brilliant. I did it, the fear was worse than the reality.

This is the same for everyone. People - including those of us considered disabled - all have issues to deal with. Some may be visible - like me in my wheelchair - but many, many others are not visible. People still have their personal issues to deal with.

Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign that you recognise your own strengths and weaknesses and have the courage to deal with them.

Let's start looking at the ability of everyone and what they are ABLE to do, rather than what they need some help with.

Steph

XxX

Sunday, 14 February 2016

How To Handle Valentine's Without Anyone

I know the feeling. Everyone has someone except me.

But at the end of the day, it is only one day.

As I was saying to someone I'm helping at the moment, at least it's not a year!

Not everyone does have someone, but they're not about to publicise it when they don't. Those lucky enough to have someone, are wrapped up in their bubble of happiness on days like these.

Remember to look at things objectively and know that it's not just you.

Steph

XxX

Monday, 11 January 2016

The loss of David Bowie

The One And Only...

A Poem I composed which doesn't really do the 'Star Man' justice but either way:
You were a hero
Who changed lives
You certainly changed mine
You were so creative
Not afraid to be who you are
Spanning the arts for miles around the stars
Your voice captures generations
You kept acting on performance ridden reinvention
Came with the name you great pretender
You left us your voice
You were a true hero of the ages.

So it's not much but...a tribute - my tribute of least.

Friday, 1 January 2016

New Year

In 2014 I did as list of the things that made me happy, which you might remember seeing. Now last year I think I forgot to make one, probably because the things on there were still true. I have made sure I have made one for this year no matter if it has the same stuff as last year because it’s always fun to look back on when or if indeed my tastes do change!

Steph

XxX