Sunday, 29 March 2015

How To: Not Stay Mad

It is not good to be het up or get angry at something.

In the moment it's ok but to keep being angry at something will only drag you down.

If you're mad at or with something or someone you are only making yourself feel bad; whoever or whatever hurt you or made you mad is not thinking about how mad you are at them. It doesn't affect them in the same way it might be affecting you.

You're only making yourself feel bad about a particular situation and by remaining mad at someone or something only means that you're not letting yourself move forward.

This is yet another way of holding yourself back. Being mad just deprives us of being happy.

If people are rude to you - don't be rude back. It is their problem - not yours!

Be the bigger and better person - Rise Above which is a great campain that is running on youtube at the moment.

If you're anything like me or the people I know - being mad at someone or something will stop you from going somewhere.

This is the wrong attitude to take because is depriving the world of our light and that's not fair to the world and equally not fair on us. Don't stay mad, refocus your energy into something that's right for you.

Steph

XxX

Wednesday, 25 March 2015

Things Are Not Clear Cut Part 39

Told from Jamie's p.o.v
Ellie's porcelain skin made her irresistible last night. I nearly reached out for her. I was so close to the brink of...disastar I think it would be for her. I don't know where she stands (or sits) in feeling towards me. I was so tempted last night to take her in my arms and smell her hair. Just something romantic like that anyway. Something she can't miss. Yet if she doesn't feel like I do it'll be humiliating and I'll lose face. But thinking about how she has been with me - playful and animated I get the feeling that she likes me too. There have been moments of mild flirtation between us and I'd like to take it further. Not all the way; I know that'd make her uncomfortable. I don't want either of us to feel that way. Am I a man or a mouse? I'm going to pluck up the courage and tell her. You only live once. And the worse thing that could happen is us going back to how we are now. 

Steph

XxX

Sunday, 22 March 2015

How To: Find Positivity In Perspective

The world continues regardless of what is happening to you personally. If something bad is happening, it is rather refreshing to discover that the world carries on. No matter how massive something appears to be in our lives, that something won't stop the world. The eclipse on Friday showed this well,  as the world has a totally seperate agenda.

It feels like you've been trapped in the same place forever? Well, you haven't. It only feels like forever because that is what's happening right now. But the time will come when everything changes. The natural order of things constitutes that things can't stay the same forever, like the seasons (though in England that is debatable!) As I always say, it may be stormy now, but beautiful things blossom in the rain. Just because it is that way now doesn't mean it will stay that way. So appreciate it while you can. It is worth it.

It's your mind which creates barriers, obviously physical barriers like in my case are harder to deal with, but you can find a way. Life doesn't slow down, as much as we wish it would at times. Nor does it speed up which can be frustrating, particulary in my position. But I have faith in life, that it will work out for the best. I have taken to seeing where I am as a holding pen which as soon as the world is ready I will be fledging from.

The simple fact that in the universe the stars shine all the time, though they aren't visible in daylight or when we have cloudy nights (which is very frequently in England) is a really powerful source of inspiration I think. They shine on regardless, which is a really beautiful thing that's happening right now.

Think of all the thingsx that are happening now, carrying on nevertheless. There are lots of things. I'd love to know what you can think of, and would love to know your opinion on this post. Thank you for reading.

Steph

XxX

Wednesday, 18 March 2015

Things Are Not Clear Cut Part 38


Told from Ellie's pov

I found out about Jamie mindlessly while sorting through the records. In black and white it was right there in front of me - Jamie Mann - but Jamie Schwartz was the man who'd been working with me. I simply took it to be a mistake at first - but it kept coming up. Though I'm crazy busy at the moment - I had to sort this out and know who he was so I called him. We hadn't arranged our next meet-up so when I got home that day and I wasn't rushed off of my wheels I text him to see if he was up to much that eve. He said he wasn't, so I suggested meeting at the bar near mine. He agreed. We set it up for 8.00pm giving us both time to freshen up. So 8.00pm finally rolled around and I rolled into the bar. I was in a little black dress that I hoped made me look good. Kelly hadn't been in before I left to give me her opinion. She is my style guru. 'You smell nice,' was the first thing Jamie said to me when I approached the table he was already sat at. My malibu and coke was sitting atop the table and he was already half-way down his pint. 'So...'
'The reason I have two names is I'm adopted.' My mouth hung open and I grabbed at the glass in front of me and started to drink. I glugged down a fair amount before I spoke.
'That must have been terrible for you,' I said quietly.
'I don't like to talk about it.' He said. Understandable. So he had a rough childhood? That explains so much. His upbringing wasn't as picturesque as mine. Or seemingly picturesque. That was a lot to take. I drank in silence for the next few minutes. 'So how's work?' he asked.
'Bloody intense, it's the busy season so everybody wants a meeting with Tall and there's so much to read!' I sound exhausted. But I've got to keep going. Thinking of poor Jamie as a young boy in an orphange is enough. 'How's your work?' I ask tentatively.
'Ok thanks. Yeah, not too bad thanks,' Jamie said softly. With that, he put his glass down having finished his pint and waited for me to finish mine which I did a few seconds later.

Steph

XxX

Sunday, 15 March 2015

How To: Just Breathe

BREATHE

V1:
It happens every day
Might be huge but small in the way
It matters for that moment
It seems everything is frozen
But it's not
Take a brighter thought

Chorus:
And just breathe
Things go wrong
Just breathe
Life goes on
It's not the end of the world
So get a grip girl
Just breathe

V2:
Things will be Ok
Just hold tight to your dreams and stay
It's a merry go round
It can get you down
This life
Always try to stay in the light
(Repeat Chorus)
M8:
And I don't know
Where is my soul?
I just need to breathe
When the world is pounding me
When I need a release
Gotta remind myself to just breathe
Just breathe
Breathe.

This is a lyric I wrote to remind myself that it is beneficial. It always makes me laugh the first version of this I wrote because I wrote 'merry go wrong' instead of 'merry go round'!!!

It's hard when things go wrong. You just have to remember it's not the be all and end all. It's hard to do in tense situations but it is possible. It isn't what happens in life that we react to, it is our interpretation of what happens to us. So if we are downhearted when looking at a problem facing us it will drag us down whereas if you look at it with a brighter frame of mind you will find it easier to cope. Being open to all eventualities is also a good concept. You don't know why someone reacted as they have, you don't know why this has happened but it has made you stronger. Everything in this  world has the ability to weaken or strengthen you given how much time, energy and power you give it. You have the ability to decide to make it work for you or against you. Making it work for you might not be easy, you might have to change things up and never stop adjusting and readjusting. But the beauty of life is it never stands still, though it can feel like it at times. But keeping yourself busy is a good thing and means you don't get too caught up in your own head. For example, I write quotes in my Quote Books which is a good thing for the future too!

Hope this helps!

Steph

XxX

Wednesday, 11 March 2015

Things Are Not Clear Cut Part 37


Told from Jamie's pov

It's been at least a month since I saw Ellie. To be honest, I've lost track of time. Work has been hectic and it has been for her too. It's something like the busy season in books or something so I'd be lucky to get a thicket of her time apparently. Apparently she always has her nose in a book, both at work and out of it at the moment. I've got a lot going on anyway. Now wouldn't be the best time for us to meet up. Especially not when I promised myself I'd do the big reveal the next time we met up.
I spoke with Nancy again. She had a really nice voice. Then Max stood in my door so I had to go. I was asked to write a proposal for the new research that the people under us needed to do. That gave me a headache for the rest of the day, so I was surprised when I got a call from Ellie.

'Why did you tell me your sur-name was Schwartz?'
'Because it is! My work doesn't know my real name.' He kept his voice down.
'What? You've got some explaining to do...'
'Ok! Ok! I'll tell you everything at our meet up,' I told her. How the hell did she find out and what am I going to tell her?

Sunday, 8 March 2015

How To Stop Thinking Lowly Of Yourself

Whatever you focus on you're going to get more of. So if you're going through a hard time and thinking 'I'm going through a really hard time' it will remain a hard time. Often our thoughts are unconscious and because of this they are harder to change to a brighter perspective. But you can get there if you keep going. If you are going through a difficult time, it is difficult to focus on the good things that are going on in life. It is at such times - when you don't always like it - to appreciate the wonders of our world - birds singing, clouds rushing across the sky, a quiet moment, a smile etc. There are so many happy things that are free and it takes less time to conjure yet these are the beautiful things we tend to forget. We're so busy in our lives - sometimes it's good to just to take a step back from all the drama - and appreciate what you have.
If you are having a bad day - put it down to just that - ONE BAD DAY. Tomorrow is a brand new one just waiting to happen!

You Are Amazing. Think about this, every hard situation you have faced you've made it through and you're still here. That has to account for something. It takes a lot of strength to think positively. It is an ongoing battle. But one that is worth it. I'd rather go to sleep at night on my face rather than fearful of what tomorrow might be. And how do you know what it will be like? It hasn't arrived yet. Fearing the future is pointless.

Wednesday, 4 March 2015

Things Are Not Clear Cut Part 36

Written from Ellie's point of view
It happened a while ago. In January, as Jamie told me. He didn't tell me at the time. He just went away. I guess I can't really blame him. I went out for drinks with Poppy two nights after I found out. There's been a lot of excitement at work as a new man called Joe has just been employed as another new receptionist. Apparently Joe only has eyes for one person, and it's me. I don't know how to feel about that yet. I'm very flattered. I have had some wild dreams in the last week - ever since he was introduced. I need to stop wasting my time on a pipe dream with Jamie and seemingly get with Joe. I text Joe about meeting up and that's where I'm going tonight. Out with Joe. He doesn't have expectations. I'm pretty sure of that. We'll just see how this goes.

He took me out for dinner. We had a few cocktails and we went back to his place, which is not far from mine actually. I don't usually fall for guys as quickly as I fell for Joe. Joe is irresistible. I don't know how long it will last. It's chemical. We drank some JD and coke at his and after that our hands didn't stay for very long.

Steph

XxX

Sunday, 1 March 2015

How To: Not Feel Intimidated

Those people who intimidate people have lots of experience and have been doing what they do for a long time. That is how they have got to such so expert at doing whatever it is they are intimidating you by doing. Unfortunately, the only way to get more experience in whatever field, is to do more of it. Just put on a brave face and get on with whatever it is you need/want to get better at. Confidence carries you a long way. Act as if you're confident even if you're the furthest from it. It will make your persona seem confident, and in a quick time that becomes how you feel anyway. Confidence gives you authority and though you might not have a clue about what's happening - people will look to you like you do.
It doesn't mean that they are confident but they will certainly look it. And they will grow in confidence because of that. You just have to remember that it's confidence they have, but they're not better than you. Acting the part plays a key role here. You don't have to know what you're doing but if you act like you do people will go along with it. It's all about perception and how others view you.

Steph

XxX